Stumbling blocks of appreciative leadership

Why good intentions alone are not enough

Appreciation – more than just friendliness

The term “appreciative leadership” is no longer a niche topic. In the modern working world, it is seen as a success factor: for motivation, loyalty, team spirit and a culture of innovation. But what exactly is behind it?
Appreciative leadership is an approach that focuses on recognizing the strengths, achievements and potential of employees, thus creating a positive and supportive working atmosphere in which open communication, mutual respect and constructive feedback are practised.
From a psychological perspective, appreciation is a basic human need – Carl Rogers spoke of “unconditional positive regard” in this context. Motivation theories such as those of Maslow or Deci & Ryan also show this: People don’t just want to function, they want to feel seen. However, it is important to know that appreciation is subjective. While one employee may be happy to receive praise as in the example above, another employee may even perceive it as patronizing. In order to show appreciation towards others, it is therefore important to perceive people with their individual personalities. For managers, this means that it’s not enough to be superficially nice – it’s about genuine interest, transparency, recognition and communication at eye level.
That sounds great in theory. In practice? You often see the exact opposite.

7 common stumbling blocks in appreciative leadership

1. unclear communication
The classic: the manager is sure that they have expressed themselves clearly and precisely. However, the team thinks: “That could have been said clearly.”
What is often lacking is not communication and transparency – but clarity. It can happen that you sit in one meeting after another without these contributing positively to the actual work. However, appreciative leadership means conveying messages in such a way that they really get across and valuing the other person’s time. Communication should therefore be clear, consistent and easy to understand.

2. dishonest or empty praise
To show appreciation, the manager automatically praises an employee with the words: “You did a great job.” However, what is meant as friendly praise can be confusing if it is so general that the employee does not understand what the praise is referring to. Recognition is important, but it loses its value, especially if no precise explanation of what exactly is being praised can be given when asked. Praise should therefore not be used in an inflationary, automatic or unspecific manner. Proper appreciation is only effective if it is honest, authentic, individual and relevant to the situation. Everything else sounds like text modules from an old management handbook.

3. lack of time
“I would like to lead in an appreciative manner, but…”
Time is a scarce commodity, but appreciative leadership requires presence, as it requires intensive engagement with employees and treating them with attention, goodwill and kindness. This is why appreciation does not work in multitasking mode between Outlook pings and jour fixe meetings. If you don’t have time to listen, don’t be surprised if no one talks to you at some point.

4. conflict aversion instead of consistency
Appreciation is often confused with leniency. However, taking someone seriously also means addressing misconduct – respectfully but clearly. Those who avoid unpleasant things are not acting empathetically, but appear insecure. Appreciation should therefore also be based on reacting consistently to misconduct and not simply sitting it out. Constructive feedback is an appreciative way of dealing with undesirable behavior. Active listening and asking questions can also help to understand such behavior and steer it in the right direction in the future.

5. role conflict: friend or manager?
It is human to want to be popular, and appreciative leadership can certainly increase your own popularity. However, it is important that leadership does not become a popularity contest. Appreciation does not mean trying to please everyone. It means seeing your employees, but remaining in your own role at all times in order to show reliability. Managers should therefore not be friends, but neither should they be the opposite and become controllers. This can be a difficult balancing act, especially for managers who are new to a management position.

6. unconscious bias (aka favorite employee syndrome)
We are all human – and people have sympathies. It becomes difficult when these consciously or unconsciously influence decisions or evaluations. Transparency in decision-making processes and feedback mechanisms are essential, because nothing undermines appreciation more than the feeling of being treated unfairly. To prevent this, it is important for managers to be able to reflect on their own behavior, which is not so easy at first. However, appreciative leadership always starts with oneself. Only with a good sense of self-worth and a clear perception of themselves and their own behavior can managers be truly appreciative of their employees.

7. no genuine interest
The biggest stumbling block: appreciation cannot be simulated. If you only ask “How are you?” to put a tick on the daily to-do list, you will earn little trust. It is therefore important for managers to show trust and genuine interest. Remember, if an employee thinks something is important enough to share with you, then that information is worth listening to and responding to. This also applies to private matters and especially when it comes to otherwise quiet employees who don’t reveal much about themselves. Anyone who shows genuine interest in others will also find it much quicker and easier to learn things about them that they can appreciate.

How can appreciation really be lived?

There are numerous ways to create an authentic leadership culture so that this type of leadership can be easily adapted to the respective team and manager. Here are some tips that can help you along the way:

• Regular exchange: Communication and transparency are important. However, these should not be mandatory meetings, but genuine discussions at eye level.
• Feedback: Being able to give and accept honest feedback is the basis of appreciative leadership. This also includes an appreciative error culture.
• Communication: Clear, understandable communication is particularly important in stressful times. If time is allowed for this, unpleasant misunderstandings and the resulting problems can be easily avoided.
• Interest: To be a positive role model, managers should show genuine interest in their employees – not just performance.
• Consistency: Decisions should be implemented consistently. Transparency, fairness and traceability are important here.
• Self-reflection: Appreciative leadership starts with yourself. Good self-esteem and regular self-reflection make it easier for managers to cope in stressful and conflict situations and prevent them from becoming dependent on attention, status symbols or a sense of achievement. Those who treat themselves with respect can also do this more easily in their dealings with employees.

Appreciation is not a method, but an attitude. Those who take it seriously quickly realize that it is not an extra, but the basis for teams to function – and for people to develop.

Conclusion

Appreciative leadership is not a panacea, but it is the beginning of trust, motivation and commitment. And it is challenging at the same time. This is because it requires not only strong communication skills from managers, but also self-reflection, consistency and time. The good news: it’s worth it. Employees who feel seen contribute differently. They are more loyal, creative and resilient. And they stay with the company – not because they have to, but because they want to.

Appreciation thrives on encounters, but also benefits from structure. This is precisely where modern tools such as the myPARM CorporateNavigator come in. The software helps managers to support their teams individually and transparently.
From the communication of strategies and goals, to data-supported decision-making and the communication and management of tasks, myPARM CorporateNavigator helps managers to shape leadership not just situationally, but continuously. And all without Excel lists or paperwork – but with a focus on what counts: real connection. Because sometimes the difference between “well-intentioned” and “well done” is just a click.

Would you like to get to know the myPARM CorporateNavigator in a demo? Then make an appointment with us right away!