Between the lines: When and how mitigated speech makes leadership successful

What is mitigated speech?

Mitigated speech refers to the practice of formulating statements or instructions so that they appear less direct or binding. This is often done out of politeness, respect or the desire to avoid conflict.
There are six levels of softened language, which represent different degrees of softening in communication – from direct language to very careful, indirect formulations.

1. Command: “Switch off the light.” This is the most direct form of communication, in which the speaker gives a clear instruction without softening or politeness. There is no room for misunderstanding, but the statement can be perceived as too demanding or impolite, especially in sensitive contexts.
2. Team Obligation Statement: “We should turn off the lights.” This level expresses a collective commitment, with the speaker including the group or team in the statement. This softens the command and creates a sense of shared responsibility.
3. Team Suggestion: “Could we turn off the light?” The speaker makes a suggestion here that leaves room for discussion or objections. This form is more polite and less direct than a command, but still relatively clear in its intention.
4. Query of preference: “Wouldn’t it be better if we turned off the light?” A question is asked here to find out the other person’s preference. This formulation is even more indirect and allows the recipient to contribute their own opinion.
5. Hint: “Isn’t it a bit too bright here?” The speaker only hints at the concern without expressing it directly. This form is very cautious and indirect, which carries the risk that the message is not clear enough and is misunderstood.
6. Mitigated hint: “It might be helpful if it were a little darker here.” This is the most mitigated form of communication, where the speaker only hints at the intention without stating it directly. This level is the most risky, as the intention can easily be overlooked or ignored.

Why is softened language used?

• Politeness and respect: Softened language helps to spare the feelings of the other person by making the statement less confrontational. This is particularly important in hierarchical structures where subordinates want to address their superiors respectfully, cannot contradict them directly or should not express clear criticism. In order not to jeopardize their position but still address important points, they often resort to indirect or mitigating formulations.
• Avoiding conflict: In situations where tensions or disagreements could arise, softened language can help defuse potential conflicts by softening the tone of the conversation.
• Maintaining harmony: People have a strong need to be accepted and liked by others. Direct or confrontational statements could jeopardize this need by straining the relationship with the interlocutor. Softened language allows the speaker to get their message across without running the risk of disrupting social harmony.
• Uncertainty or caution: In addition, softened language is also used when you are unsure about the correct course or the accuracy of a statement or you do not want to appear too demanding. By toning down statements, you protect yourself from possible mistakes, critical feedback or negative consequences.
• Cultural imprint: In many cultures, especially in collectivist societies such as those in East Asia, great emphasis is placed on harmony and maintaining social relationships. Here, softened language is often used to save face and avoid confrontation. In these cultures, indirect communication is therefore a norm, whereas in individualistic cultures, such as in many Western countries, more direct communication is often preferred.
• Gender roles: Gender roles can also have an impact on the use of mitigated speech. Studies show that women tend to use softened language more often to be perceived as cooperative and empathetic, as these characteristics are considered socially desirable for women in many cultures. Men, on the other hand, may be encouraged to communicate more directly in some contexts to be seen as assertive and strong.
• Professional and social norms: In certain professions or social groups, softened language may also be the norm. For example, in professions where diplomatic or therapeutic communication is key (such as diplomacy or healthcare), softened language is deliberately used to deal sensitively with difficult issues.

When mitigated speech can lead to problems

Softened language has its advantages and can be very helpful. However, it can also lead to some difficulties.

1. Misunderstandings and misinterpretations: Softened language can lead to a message not coming across clearly. If statements are toned down too much, for example, there is a risk that they are not taken seriously by the recipient, misinterpreted or simply ignored. For example, a team member may not perceive a toned-down request as urgent and not complete a task on time, or the person addressed may feel that they are not meant at all or that it is not a request at all.
2. Lack of clarity in communication: In addition, softened language can lead to team members not knowing exactly what is expected of them. This can lead to confusion, inefficient working, and delays.
3. Subliminal conflicts: Mitigated speech is also often used to avoid critical but unpleasant topics. However, if conflicts or problems are not addressed directly through mitigated speech, they often remain unresolved and can put a strain on team dynamics in the long term. For example, if a team member consistently performs poorly, but the manager does not address the issue directly, this can lead to major problems for the entire team.
4. Weakening of authority: Managers can also be perceived as weak or insecure if they rely too much on softened language. For example, instructions given in an insecure, softened tone may not be taken seriously.

Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Outliers” mentions a famous study from the aviation industry that shows the fatal consequences of mitigated speech. The study investigated airplane crashes in which communication errors played a significant role. In many of these cases, co-pilots or other crew members were too reluctant or deferential to the captain to address potentially dangerous situations directly.

Example: A co-pilot noticed a technical problem, but pointed it out in a softened form: “It seems like there might be a small problem here.” The captain did not take the warning seriously enough, which led to a disaster.

In such cases in particular, mitigated speech can lead to life-threatening misunderstandings or limit the ability of team members to act, so that necessary measures are not taken. So while mitigated speech can be useful in many situations to maintain relationships and avoid conflict, it carries significant risks when clear, concise communication is required. Leaders and project managers should be aware of these risks and foster a culture where open, direct feedback is possible to avoid misunderstandings and wrong decisions.

Conscious use of mitigated speech in everyday working life

By using mitigated speech, managers and employees can maintain positive and productive communication in their day-to-day work. However, to avoid possible ambiguities or difficulties, mitigated speech should be used consciously. A few simple rules can help.

• Set clear goals: Before using softened language, it should be clear what goal is to be achieved:
  • Create or maintain a harmonious working environment and show respect and appreciation.
  • Addressing sensitive topics or critical feedback.
  • hierarchies and cultural norms.
  • Avoid or de-escalate conflicts.
  • To promote cooperation and the exchange of ideas.
• Balance between politeness and clarity: While it is important to communicate respectfully, the message must not be so toned down that it becomes unclear. The right level of directness should be maintained depending on the context.
• Consider the context: Mitigated speech should always be used in the context of the situation. In crises or when precise instructions are required, direct communication is often more suitable. On the other hand, mitigated speech is always necessary if the cultural context dictates this.
• Promote a culture of open communication: Despite the occasional use of mitigated speech, a culture of open and honest communication should be encouraged in an organization where employees feel safe to express their thoughts clearly and directly.

Conclusion

Mitigated speech is a double-edged sword in communication, especially in leadership and project management contexts. While mitigated speech can help to promote harmony and avoid conflict, it also carries the risk of misunderstandings and ineffective decision-making. Managers should be aware of the dynamics of this form of communication and use it purposefully to maintain a balance between politeness and clarity.

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